Proof that Santa is a Marine

1. He manages to fit presents for all the world's children neatly into a single sack.
2. He humps that sack all over the world.
3. He conducts airborne operations and lands silently in people's fireplaces.
4. He demands pogey bait (milk and cookies)
5. Blackboots. And they're shiny.
6. Whitesleeves.
7. He still relies on animals to get around.
8. Every time he's on Christmas leave, he grows a crazy beard, gains weight and pretends he's in the Coast Guard.
9. Barfights with the Easter Bunny.
10. He's not welcome in Middle Eastern states.